


Calibrater’sgirl0821

by strawberrykitty509



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Humor, Relationship Help, giving tips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 08:50:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17485007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrykitty509/pseuds/strawberrykitty509
Summary: The time when Sonia Shepard opened up an account on a Human/Turian relationships website and gave advice to human women with Turian baes of their own.





	Calibrater’sgirl0821

**www.Turian-Human-relations-social group.com**

 

**_Monday 9:10 p.m_ **

**_Calibrater’sgirl0821_ **

**_Hey so apparently, a friend asked me to get on this website and try and help those who might have some questions about Turian and human relationships. Granted, I have only been in a relationship with a Turian for about almost two years now._ **

**_So I don't know how much help I will be._ **

**_But I have nothing to do and I could use a hobby I suppose. So um...If you have a question lay it on me I guess._ **

* * *

 

_ Monday 9:30 p.m _

_ Freespirit4568 to Calibrater’sgirl0821 _

_ I would like to be the first to say welcome to the site, we have such a small population right now so newcomers are a big surprise! Anyway, I have a question regarding my Turian boyfriend for about five months now.  _

_ You see, we first meet at a shared friend’s cross-species dating event and immediately hit it off. We’ve been going on some dates, really enjoy each other’s company and there’s the talk of introducing each other to the other’s parents soon.  _

_ The problem is...I don't know how to please my Turian. _

_ I mean I’ve read books, looked at diagrams I even looked at cross-species porn. I mean it's not like he’s pressuring me, he told me that he's willing to wait. But he’s a great guy and I wanna give him a good time, do you have any tips? _

 

**_Monday  9:32 p.m_ **

**_Calibrater’sgirl0821 to Freespirit4568_ **

**_Wow didn't expect to anyone to respond and thank you for the welcome._ **

**_You seem to be on the right track by doing your research. The porn, in my opinion, is pretty useless so don't refer to much to that._ **

**_But as for tips, I guess some good ones are as followed:_ **

 

**_-Make sure to have good communication with your turian. If this your first time laying together as a couple than you both need to lay down what you like and dislike to lower the interspecies awkwardness._ **

 

**_-Go slow and expect some fumbles, turians are hard and spiky while we are soft and squishy. Make sure to spend some time getting to know each other’s body, I promise you the joy of finding a sweet spot is sweeter than any reward you can think of._ **

 

**_-Finally. By talking to my turian, he seemed to like the human concept of “aftercare”. If you're into that, maybe afterward you can cuddle up to your turian, light some candles with some relaxing music, praise him etc. But like I said my turian likes that so I don't know if yours will_ **

**_I hope this was helpful._ **

 

_ Monday 9:35 p.m _

_ Freespirit4568 to Calibrater’sgirl0821 _

_ Oh yes! These tips look amazing and I feel a little bit more confident now. I'll definitely refer to those first two points that you mentioned. Though we have been talking about it I didn't even think about laying what likes and dislikes. So thank you for that and I really appreciate you taking the time to answer my questions. _

_ Again welcome to the site~. _

* * *

 

_ Monday 10:15 p.m _

_ Historiannerd5578 to Calibrater’sgirl0821 _

_ Hello, _

_ I was wondering if you could give me advice on how to approach a turian love interest or to at least get them to look at you.  _

_ I’ve fallen pretty hard for my co-worker, we both work on the Citadel Museum as head curators for our race’s exhibits. He’s smart, well spoken, a total historic nerd and just amazing in general. But no matter how many hints I drop I just can't seem to get him to notice my romantic feelings for him! I try to subtle about it, I leave encouraging notes in his office, I learned some of his favorite recipes and tried cooking them for when he comes over for dinner, and I even started wearing dresses to work the accentuates my waist. _

_ Yet I still get nothing. I really hope I'm doing something wrong in the culture department. _

_ I’m worried, and scared, that he might not care for me the way I care for him. _

_ Maybe you can help? _

 

**_Monday 10:19 p.m_ **

**_Calibrater’sgirl0821 to Historiannerd5578_ **

**_Oof, the old “cultural misunderstanding” been there and I feel your pain._ **

**_First thing, from personal experience I’ve learned that subtly is probably not the best way to go about showing your feeling when it comes to Turians. Their pretty straightforward and get right to the point, that goes for if you want to date one._ **

**_Try being more straightforward with your methods, like ask him out on a date, compliment his fringe or waist with confidence (that last one is important) or you could even straight up tell him how you feel._ **

**_As for him not caring for you in a romantic way. If he's only letting you into his office to leave notes, he’s trusting you to come into his personal space. If he ate that dinner and his mandibles flutters and you say a tint of blue around his neck, he really liked that. And if your wearing dresses that are showing off your waist and you catch him staring more than two times in one day, than he is definitely interested._ **

**_If does those three things than your feelings are definitely returned. Trust me on this._ **

 

_ Monday 10:20 p.m _

_ Historiannerd5578 to Calibrater’sgirl0821 _

_ OH MY GOD! He did all those things you just listed! _

_ Ah! I’m screaming so loud in my hand right now so my neighbors don't think I'm dying. _

_ I will take your advice and try to build up some confidence to ask him out on a proper date. I just hope he says yes. _

_ Thank you so much,Calibrater’sgirl0821, I owe you unlimited membership to the Citadel Cultural Museum if all goes well. _

 

**_Monday 10:20 p.m_ **

**_Calibrater’sgirl0821 to Historiannerd5578_ **

**_Not a museum person, but you can tell me how the date goes if he says yes._ **

 

_ Monday 10:21 p.m _

_ Historiannerd5578 to Calibrater’sgirl0821 _

_ Deal! _

 

* * *

 

_ Tuesday 9:30 a.m _

_ Cosmicflower4062 to Calibrater’sgirl0821 _

_ I'm sorry if this too early in the morning for you, I’m a big morning person. Feel free to answer when you can. _

_ My relationship with my love has been going strong for four years now! _

_ We’ve been living together for about a year now and we recently got engaged to each other to both of our families delights. Things have been progressing really well, but as much as I love my love's family his older brother is...traditional and controlling. _

_ He wants to make decisions for us like he is part of the relationship. He wants us to move to Palevan, even though I have family on the Citadel and want to stay near them. He gets very involved in our wedding planning and subtly criticizes my ideas with snide remarks and comical insults. The most recent thing that we are, currently, arguing about is me considering carrying a human Chier instead of doing a surrogate so we can have a turian child.  _

_ I love my man and his family, but dealing with his brother has taken a huge emotional drain on both me and my fiance.  _

_ I don't know what to do. _

 

**_Tuesday 10:15 a.m_ **

**_Calibrater’sgirl0821 to Cosmicflower4062_ **

**_Don't worry about it, I’m kind of a morning person as well so I got your question right when I was waking up._ **

**_Congratulations on your marriage first of all and second of all you need to say something to either your fiance or your future brother-in-law._ **

**_I know what it's like when dealing with the controlling family member, though mine wasn't as severe as yours._ **

**_What you need to do is make your voice known, you have to stand up for yourself! You tell that brother-in-law that this is your home, your life, and your future and that he has to accept that he has no control over it. Does your fiance do anything about his brother’s behavior or does he just sit in a corner twiddling his thumbs?_ **

 

_ Tuesday 10:26 a.m _

_ Cosmicflower4062 to Calibrater’sgirl0821 _

_ He scolds his brother and threatens him on multiple occasion, in fact, he’s more stressed out than I am. _

_ But his big brother has zero respect for him and just brushes off his rants as the childish tantrums he used to throw when he as was younger.  _

_ He’s-excuse my language- a dick. _

 

**_Tuesday 10:28 a.m_ **

**_Calibrater’sgirl0821 to Cosmicflower4062_ **

**_Sounds like one. Anyway, just get him a room alone and just tell him what you want to say. If he’s gonna be a douche than you might need to cut him out of your life. Hopefully, it won't have to come to that. But you have to do what you need to do in order to have your happy life._ **

**_Don't let others run or rule your life if you want your happy ending you go get it. You hear me, soldier?_ **

 

_ Tuesday 10:29 a.m _

_ Cosmicflower4062 to Calibrater’sgirl0821 _

_ Soldier? _

 

**_Tuesday 10:29 a.m_ **

**_Calibrater’sgirl0821 to Cosmicflower4062_ **

**_Sorry habit._ **

 

_ Tuesday 10:29 a.m _

_ Cosmicflower4062 to Calibrater’sgirl0821 _

_ Oh okay, I will definitely take your advice to heart. I do want a happy life with my soon to be husband and I also want a healthy relationship with my brother-in-law. But your right, I need to take our life back and make a stand. _

_ For both my fiance’s and my own sake. _

_ Thank you so much. _

* * *

 

_ Tuesday 2:15 p.m _

_ Loverofanythingblasto9428 to Calibrater’sgirl0821 _

_ This might be a crazy and maybe personal question but it has to do with my own question. Have you ever had to deal with crazy exes from your own boyfriend’s past? _

**_Tuesday 2:16 p.m_ **

**_Calibrater’sgirl0821 to Loverofanythingblasto9428_ **

**_It's mostly my exes that he has to deal with, but I can try and answer your question. Lay it on me._ **

 

_ Tuesday 2:16 p.m _

_ Loverofanythingblasto9428 to Calibrater’sgirl0821 _

_ Okay, _

_ So this guy and I have been dating for about three months now. We met at my place of work, I’m a bartender at the nightclub “Afterlife” and my boo is a for-hire bodyguard that hangs around the joint. One month into the relationship, I found out that he was in a past relation with an Asari dancer at the same club I work at. _

_ He told me it wasn't a problem and that she was just a fling. So I didn't think much of it. _

_ Then things got interesting. _

_ This bitch, who I didn't know existed until like a while ago, started to make my life hell. _

_ She would spread lies about me that almost ruined my reputation and one of my closet friendships. _

_ She stole from my locker during my shift to throw my shit in the alleyway. _

_ She also recently started paying some of her lackeys in mercenary groups to stalk me and rough me up.  _

_ Not like they can anyway, pop was a former N6 so I can handle myself.  _

_ If it was normal circumstances, I would whip her ass to the next relay. Unfortunately, there is a policy at work that prevents workers from using violence on the dancers. So I can't do anything to her and I don't want to break up with my boo, but if it calls for it I mean I gotta do what I gotta do. _

_ Got an idea on how to kill without having anyone knowing? _

 

**_Tuesday 2:28 p.m_ **

**_Calibrater’sgirl0821 to Loverofanythingblasto9428_ **

**_Good God, I do not envy you._ **

**_Well...Killing her won't help your situation so let's drop that. It seems that ignoring her won't do you any good since she appears to be escalating when you do. It's clear that this girl is trying to send a message that she was there first and feels like you might have stolen her property. So to handle this without using violence, you have to show her that your boo is yours._ **

 

_ Tuesday 2:29 p.m _

_ Loverofanythingblasto9428 to Calibrater’sgirl0821 _

_ What do you mean? _

 

**_Tuesday 2:29 p.m_ **

**_Calibrater’sgirl0821 to Loverofanythingblasto9428_ **

**_I mean SHOW her that that turian is yours. State your claim, Loverofanythingblasto9428 don't let up just cause some girl can't let go. Make it known that your his girl and she’s just gonna have to accept that._ **

**_Again without violence._ **

 

_ Tuesday 2:30 p.m _

_ Loverofanythingblasto9428 to Calibrater’sgirl0821 _

_ Oh, I get ya now. Yeah, I think I can do that without kicking her ass till its blue-er and black. Thanks hon, free rounds when you want to stop by and visit the Afterlife sometime. Though you gotta pay tip, I gotta eat. _

 

**_Tuesday 2:30 p.m_ **

**_Calibrater’sgirl0821 to Loverofanythingblasto9428_ **

**_Got ya._ **

* * *

 

“Having fun”? Liara giggled.

She sat next to Sonia who was typing away on her bed. They were in the middle of discussing some business when Sonia’s Omnitool alerted new notification.

 

“Not really, it's a little tedious than I thought it was going to be”. Sonia sighed dismissing her omnitool to give Liara her full attention “But I'm not gonna lie, it is kind of fun to help others in a way that doesn't require me to shoot someone or infiltrate databases”.

 

Sonia flopped back on her friend’s bed, a small smile on her face.”Yeah, it's nice to know that life still goes on even with the war”.

 

“Yes, fear does not stop them from living their lives, falling in love and thinking of the future”. Liara agreed. Eyes returning to the datapad that she and the commander were discussing over. “Just like how you and Garrus seemed to have found time to love and cherish each other in this time of chaos”. She swooned.

Sonia could only hum in agreement, eyes still on the ceiling above her.

 

“Though I am disappointed you turned down the unlimited membership to the Citadel Museum. Those are very hard to come by you know”.

 

“I don't like museums all that much”.

 

“Yes but I do, Shepard”.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Referring to "Cheir" in the third ask.  
> It is basically crossing DNA into a cloned embryo so cross-species couples can have biological children together. This method was created by the creative @Wafflesrock, it can also be further explained in her 'Ring of Fire" (Kindled ch.12) series.
> 
> (She does really good turian/human relationship fics, check her out she's grand.)


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